mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
*purposely drop something in front of my crush*
*breaks into j k rowling’s house in the middle of the night* no it’s okay i’m not here to steal anything i just think we need to talk about harry naming one of his kids after snape
I’ve never seen wild eyes like yours.
You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train